Comments on: Fixing the Hole in my Heart http://www.zenmoments.org/fixing-the-hole-in-my-heart/ - the great power of small things - Tue, 07 Feb 2012 00:12:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Zen Alexie Jumaoas http://www.zenmoments.org/fixing-the-hole-in-my-heart/comment-page-1/#comment-5219 Zen Alexie Jumaoas Wed, 13 Jul 2011 04:20:39 +0000 http://www.zenmoments.org/?p=2140#comment-5219 I am still at the process of mending this hole in my heart and your story came to me. It really came to me. I made some mistakes on clicking with my netbook's pad and poof! Your story came on screen. I made a promise to myself that I won't make any other relationships because all of my relationships involves with someone who isn't from my country. I am a Filipino and most of my family are in United States of America already. They wanted me to join them but I wanted to stay here in the Philippines. I still have to explore the 7,000 plus islands that we have. For 8 years now,I have been teaching English here in the Philippines and most of our students are from Korea and Japan with some few Chinese and even European. I've had few relationships, although not really serious but every time they would stop communicating when they go back to their country it hurts a bit. Fast forward today, I met this girl,a Japanese. Her English wasn't really good, just few "hi's and how are you's" but we were able to understand each other. I have never felt such a deep feelings for someone. I was so serious with that I even changed my plans. One of my plans is to swim with a great white shark in Africa. I abandoned that because I want to be with her and she wanted the same thing also. Then reality struck. When she finishes her study here,what will be our status? Is she willing to bear the long distance relationship? No problem with me,i can handle it. I made her a lot of promises but she won't believe a thing and she would always cry whenever we meet. She doesn't even want me to say to her "I love you," because it'll pain her more. She is still here in the language school where I worked and she still have more than a month to stay but she is pushing me away already. I am 34years old and the last time I remembered I cried because of sadness was when my grandfather died...I was 8. When she told me that she doesn't want to miss me and walked away, suddenly I can't see a thing because I can't stop crying. I don't know why. My name is ZEN and obviously it is taken from Zen Buddhism. I have stayed in a temple for 4 months way back 1997 with Buddhist monks. Even if I'm not a buddhist,a monk there,a Japanese, made a promise to my grandfather that he will continue giving me lessons of life,so I was admitted there. Well,that's another story. I have always kept a clear and calm mind that wherever I work, I am always made as the "shock absorber." I never had any problems, as they say, it is not a problem at all but opportunities and I would usually take this. Like you, I thought I was ready and the Japanese girl,at first, thought that she was ready but it was shattered. One of the greatest concern I have now is how can I follow her to Japan. I have never planned to go to another country unless I explore all of my country. Japan also has very strict rules of getting a visa for Filipinos. I have a pending petition from my parents to be with them in America but my girlfriend can't wait that long because she depends on me too much now and she can't be away from me. What pains me most is that I see her everyday and everytime she sees me it would totally wipe the smile on her face. We sometimes go out but she doesn't want to hold me any more. I have to change my way of meditation then so I can find some ways to fixing this shattered heart of mine. Meditation and some big help from whoever who can help me to be with her.I don't want to lose her. I guess this comment is quite long already.^.^ I'm just sharing and thank you very much for your story. I can now,at least start this path of healing. Once again, thank you! I am still at the process of mending this hole in my heart and your story came to me. It really came to me. I made some mistakes on clicking with my netbook’s pad and poof! Your story came on screen.
I made a promise to myself that I won’t make any other relationships because all of my relationships involves with someone who isn’t from my country.
I am a Filipino and most of my family are in United States of America already. They wanted me to join them but I wanted to stay here in the Philippines. I still have to explore the 7,000 plus islands that we have.
For 8 years now,I have been teaching English here in the Philippines and most of our students are from Korea and Japan with some few Chinese and even European. I’ve had few relationships, although not really serious but every time they would stop communicating when they go back to their country it hurts a bit.
Fast forward today, I met this girl,a Japanese. Her English wasn’t really good, just few “hi’s and how are you’s” but we were able to understand each other. I have never felt such a deep feelings for someone. I was so serious with that I even changed my plans. One of my plans is to swim with a great white shark in Africa. I abandoned that because I want to be with her and she wanted the same thing also.
Then reality struck. When she finishes her study here,what will be our status? Is she willing to bear the long distance relationship? No problem with me,i can handle it. I made her a lot of promises but she won’t believe a thing and she would always cry whenever we meet. She doesn’t even want me to say to her “I love you,” because it’ll pain her more. She is still here in the language school where I worked and she still have more than a month to stay but she is pushing me away already.
I am 34years old and the last time I remembered I cried because of sadness was when my grandfather died…I was 8. When she told me that she doesn’t want to miss me and walked away, suddenly I can’t see a thing because I can’t stop crying. I don’t know why.
My name is ZEN and obviously it is taken from Zen Buddhism. I have stayed in a temple for 4 months way back 1997 with Buddhist monks. Even if I’m not a buddhist,a monk there,a Japanese, made a promise to my grandfather that he will continue giving me lessons of life,so I was admitted there. Well,that’s another story.
I have always kept a clear and calm mind that wherever I work, I am always made as the “shock absorber.” I never had any problems, as they say, it is not a problem at all but opportunities and I would usually take this.
Like you, I thought I was ready and the Japanese girl,at first, thought that she was ready but it was shattered.
One of the greatest concern I have now is how can I follow her to Japan. I have never planned to go to another country unless I explore all of my country. Japan also has very strict rules of getting a visa for Filipinos. I have a pending petition from my parents to be with them in America but my girlfriend can’t wait that long because she depends on me too much now and she can’t be away from me.
What pains me most is that I see her everyday and everytime she sees me it would totally wipe the smile on her face. We sometimes go out but she doesn’t want to hold me any more.
I have to change my way of meditation then so I can find some ways to fixing this shattered heart of mine.
Meditation and some big help from whoever who can help me to be with her.I don’t want to lose her.
I guess this comment is quite long already.^.^ I’m just sharing and thank you very much for your story. I can now,at least start this path of healing. Once again, thank you!

]]> By: Tom Riddle http://www.zenmoments.org/fixing-the-hole-in-my-heart/comment-page-1/#comment-3503 Tom Riddle Tue, 02 Mar 2010 04:55:48 +0000 http://www.zenmoments.org/?p=2140#comment-3503 Yes, the lady I described in "Fixing the Hold in My Heart" does like to go from boyfriend to boyfriend and from new-age-fix to new-age-fix. But she stays in touch with me and I'm glad to have met her. Again, I'm really happy that I was able to use meditation to fix the hole in my heart. Yes, the lady I described in “Fixing the Hold in My Heart” does like to go from boyfriend to boyfriend and from new-age-fix to new-age-fix. But she stays in touch with me and I’m glad to have met her. Again, I’m really happy that I was able to use meditation to fix the hole in my heart.

]]> By: Martin Goldstein http://www.zenmoments.org/fixing-the-hole-in-my-heart/comment-page-1/#comment-3483 Martin Goldstein Fri, 19 Feb 2010 22:41:31 +0000 http://www.zenmoments.org/?p=2140#comment-3483 I found your remedy to the pain to be good but I have to wonder about her intentions and whether they were clear in your relationship. She seems to skip from boyfriend to boyfriend while you were feeling that this was your soulmate. It would seem that her attitude towards relationships was more cavalier than yours. Nevertheless you still have to deal with your suffering and you still have to let go. I found your remedy to the pain to be good but I have to wonder about her intentions and whether they were clear in your relationship. She seems to skip from boyfriend to boyfriend while you were feeling that this was your soulmate. It would seem that her attitude towards relationships was more cavalier than yours.

Nevertheless you still have to deal with your suffering and you still have to let go.

]]> By: Sharon Corsaro http://www.zenmoments.org/fixing-the-hole-in-my-heart/comment-page-1/#comment-3479 Sharon Corsaro Fri, 19 Feb 2010 07:16:25 +0000 http://www.zenmoments.org/?p=2140#comment-3479 I'm sort of stunned. Just that. Stunned. I am a person of tremendous feeling... and I could feel this emotion, as I read your story... and then... it just stopped. ~ er go... I am stunned. Remarkable how you transformed that intensity - and disolved it ~ simply, remarkable. good for you ~ and... thank you for sharing this very personal story ~ bless you! Sharon I’m sort of stunned. Just that. Stunned.

I am a person of tremendous feeling… and I could feel this emotion, as I read your story… and then… it just stopped. ~ er go… I am stunned. Remarkable how you transformed that intensity – and disolved it ~ simply, remarkable.

good for you ~ and… thank you for sharing this very personal story ~
bless you!

Sharon

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