The Joy in Taking the Family to Dinner

“They tried to ask in a dozen ways what was wrong…”

A Zen Moments reader sent us this gentle story about the care that one devoted family took to find out what was troubling their loving, elderly father.

In his later years he suffered from advanced dementia and lived in a nursing home where his family often visited, in spite of his inability to communicate.

One day after a meal together, it became apparent that something was wrong. He was agitated but not, as far as anyone could tell, in any physical discomfort.

That the family discovered the meaning of his distress, demonstrates not only a profound understanding of the father’s deeply generous nature, which was unchanged in spite of his illness, but also a legacy of love, patience and trust that it was worth taking time to tune into the situation – and not just dismiss the wanderings of a frail mind:

“They tried to ask in a dozen ways what was wrong. Finally, his daughter-in-law had a thought. She handed him a paper napkin and someone found a pen. He scratched away, at peace, then handed the napkin back. This was the check, you see, and he was paying it. His joy was to take his family to dinner….”

Read the whole story… The Joy in Taking the Family to Dinner

Based on an article in The Boston Globe
by psychiatrist Elissa Ely MD

Suggested to Zen Moments by Louise

Zen Moments Bookstore Recommends:

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I read this book (when) my brother was dying much too young, of pancreatic cancer.
Reading the stories of other people’s encounters with impossible loss, helped me find the courage and sense of wonder that I needed to keep from being buried by the grief. It is a great comfort and bringer of strength to see how others have done what you must do. I couldn’t recommend this book more highly.”

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